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This message has become an annual Thanksgiving tradition now. Each year I add a new chapter. It’s about being real, being vulnerable but also being hopeful and thankful. Ready for the 3rd Edition? Here goes!
Thankful For The Pain I woke up early this morning thinking about what I’m grateful for. And my thoughts surprised me. I’m thankful for the Pain. YES, the PAIN. That sounds like a weird thing to be grateful for, doesn’t it? I wasn’t thankful for it at first. But what has happened as a result may not have happened without the pain! So, I’m grateful for the physical PAIN I had 7 years ago. The nagging pain in my left hip and knees that didn’t get better on its own. The pain that pushed me to invest in my health and join a gym, which re-started my career in physical therapy. (if you haven’t heard that story, listen to my very first "Down There" Podcast episode) I’m grateful for the financial PAIN I had at that time; without which I would not have been looking for a career change. I can now truly say that I’m grateful for the PAIN of disappointment when plans that I had for my career didn’t work out like I had hoped. Without that pain, I would have never started my own physical therapy practice. I would never have met some of the wonderful and trusted colleagues and partners who are such a blessing to me. It’s taken awhile, but I can now say I’m thankful for the PAIN of rejection. Rejection in any form hurts. There’s no denying that. I’ve dealt with a LOT of rejection as a business owner over the last 4 years. Maybe it’s gotten a bit easier over time, but it’s still unpleasant. My former business coach once said, “Everything that happens to me, good or bad, God uses as an opportunity to bless someone else.” So I trust in that truth. The Pain of Rejection has: --given me the tenacity and resiliency to face and overcome greater challenges as my business grows --given me more strength and passion to advocate for those who also feel rejected and dismissed by their medical providers, by their friends, spouses, even themselves. It’s hard to find hope in a situation after such rejection, I can empathize with that much better now. It motivates me even more to offer that hope to others. I’m thankful that God can use me, even when I mess up, to bless others. I’m still thankful for those who told me I could NOT / should NOT do this because… --I’m too old to get back in the game (Wrong! I’m the perfect age for this) --It’s too risky, better play it safe (If I played it safe, you wouldn't be reading this!) --I’m not good enough (Tell that to my clients whose lives have been changed by this!) So…thanks for the comments that it couldn’t or shouldn’t be done. They just spurred me on to want this even more! To work harder, risk bigger, pray more, and ask for help when needed. It’s not easy for me to ask for help. But I know that I can’t do this alone. The business, the vision, the mission is expanding far beyond just myself. That’s why… I am SO grateful for the many people that God continues to place in my life to help me get to where I am now and to help keep me moving forward. Some I’ve known for years, others just for a short season. It was no accident that their knowledge, skills and support was exactly what I needed at just the right time. If you are one of those people, THANK YOU! This past year has been filled with so much pain, I’m sure you can relate. For me, the best way I can describe it is: The PAIN of loss. During the COVID shutdown, I fought so hard to keep my practice afloat, to keep my clients safe, to hold space for them in a time of incredible stress and anxiety. But it has taken a heavy toll on me. No pun intended, but physically I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, my fitness level has really taken a nosedive. It’s taken a toll on my mental health and energy. Several dear friends have moved far away and I miss them terribly. Several other friends have died, from cancer, from Covid. Honestly, this chapter is still being written. I don’t know how things will turn out. I have a hard time being thankful for this pain of loss. But that hasn’t changed my resolve or my purpose. I do have many things to be grateful for in the midst of it. It may sound crazy, but I’m finding a good side to the pain and disappointments. I’ve been given an incredible and unique opportunity to help people. And they are so grateful to be able to find HOPE, to find healing, and to get more control over their pain, leakage, or other “down there” problems. How about you? What difficult or painful things are you now thankful for? I’d love to hear about it!
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To Kegel or Not To Kegel--that’s the question you may be asking yourself. If you’re reading this, chances are you have been told to “do Kegels” following prostate surgery, prostatectomy, or even to improve sexual function. But do they work? Or rather, do they work as they should, the way they are usually prescribed? The short answer: not usually.
In this article I want to tell you four reasons why Kegels may not be working for men to reduce or eliminate incontinence. I’ll also give you some ideas on how to go beyond the Kegel to get that bladder control back in a way that makes sense and works for many men. Let’s get straight to it: For some men, Kegels DO work. If that's you, fabulous! Keep it up. On the other hand, you may be doing Kegels now and they’re not working. Or you may be preparing for prostatectomy and wondering if Kegels are really the magic answer. For many men, they do not deliver the results. Here’s why: Reason #1: Kegels were not designed for men. They were actually made for women! The Kegel, or pelvic floor contraction, was designed by (you guessed it) Dr. Arnold Kegel, and he created them in the late 1940’s as one part of a much more comprehensive pelvic floor rehab program for women after childbirth. Since they were created for a woman's pelvic floor, they don't do the best job of activating the muscles that a man needs to quickly regain his bladder control or sexual function. So that might be one reason why Kegels aren't working for you, they may not be targeting the right muscles. Reason #2: Kegels are only about strength. But there's a lot more involved than just strengthening the pelvic floor muscles when you're talking about bladder control or sexual function. After prostatectomy, the prostate is no longer there. In its absence, the pelvic floor now has to assume a "new identity" as the main structure to maintain bladder control. You really need to retrain it in a more complex way than just doing Kegels. For example, can you activate your pelvic floor muscles at the right time when doing things like coughing, sneezing, even sitting up in bed? That involves more than strength. Can you coordinate the movements of your breathing muscle (diaphragm), your abdominals, and your pelvic floor when lifting something or exercising? Do you know if the way you breathe is helping your pelvic floor to work well, or making things worse for it? Just focusing on strengthening--and that's it--might not get you the results that you were hoping for. There’s also an important question that is rarely addressed: are your pelvic floor muscles actually too tight? This problem, called pelvic floor hypertonicity, happens more often than you would think. Holding tension, “power peeing”, pain, or poor sitting habits can all contribute to this problem. In this case, strengthening could make the problem worse! Reason #3: Kegels are only one tool in your rehab "toolbox". Now, imagine if you had a big home remodeling project, and all you had in your toolbox was a hammer. How effective would that whole remodeling project be with ONLY a hammer? That's the same way with Kegels. They're designed to really do one thing. One tool in your toolbox of your rehab program. And that's it. You need the right tool to do the job! Finally, Reason #4, (and this is what I think is a real disservice to you guys.) There's really no training or guidance given on how to do a Kegel. It's not like we were born inherently knowing how to do a Kegel. Most people do not automatically know what that means. Going into the doctor's office, and then getting a pamphlet, or maybe a few words amongst a long list of post-op instructions does not help you learn how to activate those muscles. It does not help retrain the diaphragm, pelvic floor and deep abdominals to work together as a SYSTEM. It's kind of like learning how to play golf by reading a brochure about it. How effective would that be? I harp on this because probably 99% of the men who come here to my practice for treatment have been doing Kegels (some for over a year), and we find out that they're exercising every single muscle BUT the pelvic floor! Then you have to retrain everything and start back at square one. And that can be pretty frustrating. Most guys are given no training or one-on-one guidance in how to do Kegels, leaving them -- leaving YOU -- to try to figure this out yourself. And if you're reading this article, my guess is you haven't figured it out or It's not working for you. You're looking for a little more help. So what do you do now? What is your next step in getting beyond just Kegels and really getting a handle on this bladder control situation? Next time you have a visit with your doctor, ask him or her to be referred to a pelvic floor physical therapist. (Or better yet, call their office NOW and ask!) Yes, pelvic floor rehab is a thing! There are physical therapists like myself who specialize in this. We can help both men and women retrain their pelvic floor, get their bladder, bowel and sexual function back, and get back to enjoying the activities they love -- without leaking. Yes, it is possible to go beyond Kegels. In fact, we recommend it! Even if you've been doing Kegels for a while and haven't gotten any results, there is still hope to get that bladder control back. Maybe it’s time to give pelvic floor PT a go. What have you got to lose--except for a drawer full of Depends? If you're in the Kansas City area, contact us to learn more about our physical therapy for men's health. If you're farther away, no worries! Here are some national directories you can search to find a men's health PT near you: https://pelvicguru.com https://pelvicrehab.com Click the buttons below to get connected right away! I wanted to share a special Success Story with you, as we wrap up Men’s Health Month 2021. This is a true story written by a client who I’m currently seeing for pelvic pain. It’s raw and unedited, and I think it clearly and beautifully communicates the frustration and struggle that most men feel when trying to get help for pelvic pain. This narrative needs to change, and Garrett wants to step up to the plate to help change that. I think it also communicates the amazing transformation that can happen with the right fit of pelvic PT and other lifestyle changes!
Thank you Garrett for being honest and a bit vulnerable in sharing your story. If it helps even one other guy to find help and hope, it’s 100% worth it! Guys, this one’s for you! Garrett’s Story: I’ve had pelvic pain since I was about 16. It would kind of come and go, but when it came, the pain was brief but incredibly intense. The pain area was focused on the perineum (gooch or taint for those who don’t know). This has been recurrent my whole life essentially. But in February of this year- right at the end of the month, it escalated dramatically. At the end of a workout specifically (deep squats), I noticed my penis had gone numb and was retracted. Then pain and swelling in the perineum and external anus that would not go away. Frequent and weak urination, post void dribbling, trouble getting and maintaining erections, lack of morning erections, pain and burning in penis, and just general bogging feeling in my pelvis. This is just a brief summary of my symptoms prior to working with Laura McKaig. After intense internet research and finding forums mainly on reddit, numerous doctor visits due to me thinking this was prostate cancer, and talking to many people, I found Laura’s practice through a quick google search after being recommended to giving pelvic pain physical therapy a try. I booked an appointment the minute I talked to her as her knowledge seemed to line up directly not just with my symptoms, but also with all the research I had done- she seemed to also know exactly what she was talking about. Going into my first appointment, I was skeptical. But I was also in a panic. As a man, having your most valued body parts being tampered with at such a young age can make you crazy. I was bringing down the mood of everyone I was around because of this. But after some time, I decided to go all in on physical therapy and take it seriously. This was the most important part for me. Once I actually started doing the homework and taking Laura’s advice seriously, I saw HUGE improvement. The stretches, breathing exercises, lifestyle changing advice, etc. not only has it brought my symptoms to the point I was before the symptoms and back to normal, I would say my physical and mental health is actually even BETTER than it was before the issues started. It is truly life changing and I’m beyond grateful for my overall experience. Not something I thought I’d ever say about this situation. Laura also has vast resources that can help someone if needed. (Yoga instructors, weightlifting coaches, various therapists). This is important because often times chronic pelvic pain is multifactorial. Laura even went as far as to doing a telehealth appointment during a urology visit to add in her findings. If this isn’t true care for a patient, then I’m not sure what is. As I mentioned before, my overall physical and mental health is much better than it was even before the issues started! Laura and I over time have discussed lifestyle habits and changes that could fix these issues in the long term, which is hugely important. I’m an extremely heavy lifter by hobby, and wasn’t breathing correctly (sometimes not even lifting in a healthy way). Her knowledge helped me get back to doing what I love which is staying in shape. I had to take it slow at first, but now I’m back to working out every day. Beyond thankful. We talked about my sexual habits, and how excessive sexual activity can affect your pelvic floor, and ways you can improve your sex life (be it breathing properly, being in tune with how your body is reacting, and even yoga). My sexual health is SUBSTANTIALLY better than it was before! My fiancé can’t even keep up. It hasn’t been this good in years. The takeaway from this all for a newcomer should be LISTEN TO YOUR PT. Listen listen listen. If you really want to get better, you need to focus on the tasks you are given. You also need to relax and most importantly- BREATHE! Breathing correctly in ANY given scenario will improve just about everything. Sounds like hocus pocus but it’s true. My personal advice beyond that is treat your body and mind with respect. Watching too much porn or masturbating too much/too vigorously? Cut it out. Find a way to get rid of it and stop it altogether. Sex addiction was one of the many reasons I ran into these issues. Without Laura I may not have even realized I had an issue. Breathing wrong and not stretching? Work with Laura on a solution and TAKE HER SERIOUSLY. I cannot stress that enough. I’ve made a quick recovery, but perhaps I would’ve corrected it sooner if I had just taken it seriously to begin with and relaxed. You will be hard pressed to find a bigger advocate for men’s health than Laura. It’s truly a blessing, and I’m eternally grateful. --Garrett, age 25 May is Pelvic Pain Awareness Month. I’m curious, do you feel nervous or anxious talking about pain issues “down there”? Let’s be honest, this is an uncomfortable topic for many people. It’s an embarrassing topic, it's a shameful topic. There's a lot of emotional baggage placed on it. As a result, a lot of women (and men as well) suffer in silence.
I want to share a story about somebody, let's call her Leah. This is a story of somebody who had pelvic pain, who did not know what to do and did not have any options given to her. WAIT-- let’s back up. I need to share something first. True Confessions. Leah is my middle name. This is MY personal story. I first started writing about Leah, then thought no, I need to be open, honest and transparent. This is MY story. I don’t share this much, in fact this is the first time ever I’ve written about it. But it needs to be told. So tell it I shall. Leah -- I -- started having problems with pelvic pain as a teenager. Ever since I could remember, I had terribly painful periods. I would miss a day of school every month because of this. Often it hurt so badly that I would double over and felt like I would throw up. Back then, there were not a lot of answers. It was just assumed to be normal, and that I was one of the unfortunate ones to suffer from painful periods. End of story. What I didn't know is that there was probably a nutritional component involved. I may have had really tight abdominal and hip muscles that were never addressed. There may have been some hormonal imbalances that could have been addressed. Truth is, painful periods are not normal. However, I did not know this. Neither did my doctor. I vividly remember one visit to a gynecologist when I was 16 years old. My period pain had gotten so bad that I was desperate for a solution. I still shudder at the answer the doctor gave me: He told me—in front of my mother—that if I got pregnant, that should fix my pain problem. What the heck??!! HOW do you respond to something like that? That was this doctor’s medical advice! I couldn’t believe it. He did come up with a second option -- birth control pills. I really didn’t want to go that route as a young teenager. So I dealt with this for years and years. In college and when I was working I would miss a day of classes or work a month. One day every month because of this! All the time thinking that this is normal. A few more years passed, and I got married. Every bride probably dreams of a perfectly beautiful and satisfying wedding night. What did I discover instead? For me, what was supposed to be very pleasurable was instead very painful. To put it bluntly, sex hurt. Badly. I was not prepared for this. I was horrified. And it didn't go away or get better on its own. It went on and on. Can you imagine how I felt, thinking, I'm not a good wife, what's wrong with me, that this is happening? Can you imagine how this affected my husband, knowing that every time we made love it was hurting me? Thinking that he was hurting me? This struggle is very real, and it can be a huge strain on a relationship. It can erode your communication with your spouse or partner. It can shatter your feelings of self-worth and adequacy. Couples get divorced over this. After putting up with this for too long, I finally got the courage to seek medical help and talk with a few trusted friends about it. What advice was I was given? No joke, this is all real…. 1) "Oh, have a glass of wine. You just need to relax". How many of you heard that? Let me just say it doesn't work. If you had tight hamstrings, would anyone tell you to have a glass of wine as a remedy? Of course not! That sounds ridiculous. Yet women often get this advice when they have painful sex. They don’t know (and I didn’t know at the time) that the pain could be caused by tight pelvic floor muscles. If your pelvic floor muscles are too tight, a glass of wine is not going to fix that! But that's what I was told—on several occasions. 2) "Well maybe you need to emotionally connect with your husband more, you have an emotional connection problem", (i.e. "It's probably all in your head"). Nobody took the time or effort to explain the relationship between emotional stress and physical pain, or even to check my pelvic floor to see if it was part of the problem. Even worse, being told that the problem exists because of emotional deficits I might have (i.e. it’s my fault) just made me feel worse about myself. 3) "Maybe if you get pregnant, and have a baby, it will get better". (Seriously??) Yes, I actually got told this. You can’t make this stuff up! Maybe that’s true, maybe not. But it’s not very helpful. 4) ” ……........” A blank stare or uncomfortable look that inferred, "um, I really don't know what to do about this". So nothing was said. No conversation was started. I was left to deal with it, just live with it, put up with it. What I didn't know is how many other women have this same problem. And how many men also deal with pelvic pain. I wonder how many people reading this story can relate to it personally? How many are struggling with very private pain issues and don’t know where to turn? If that is you, keep reading, it gets better! Let's fast forward a few years. I had two children. I was one of the lucky ones, my pain issues actually did get better after childbirth. For the vast majority of women that is not the case; they suffer with this problem of pelvic pain most of their lives. It was only 7 years ago that I learned about pelvic floor physical therapy. What’s so ironic about that is that I was a physical therapist myself! I’ll be honest, when I heard about this, part of me was angry. WHY didn't anybody tell me about this, so many years ago? I might have been able to avoid all this pain, shame, embarrassment, keeping it all to myself. I might have been able to enjoy my marriage more in those early years. Yeah, I was angry. Instead of staying angry, however, I decided to turn that around. There’s still so much work to be done, we have a long way to go in the area of pelvic health awareness in this country. I want to help others find hope and treatment options that I never had. I want to equip both men and women with the knowledge to help their friends, family, spouses find that hope and relief. Many women and men are suffering now with pain issues “down there”. And who do they talk to-- who can they talk to? You’ve read about my less-than-successful attempts to find help. That was over 20 years ago. This still happens today, every day. Women are led to believe that this is “normal”, it’s a normal part of aging or it’s normal after childbirth. They’re often given unhelpful or even harmful advice. Men who have pelvic pain are usually shuffled from doctor to doctor, given similar “advice” that women get, or worse yet, treated with suspicion if they even bring up the issue. This was not easy for me to write. It was even harder to post it publicly on this blog. My personality is not an “open book” and I just don’t feel at ease sharing the private details of my life with everyone. However, I thought, if I (a pelvic floor PT) feel uncomfortable sharing this, how much harder would it be for others? If I'm not willing to be more open about my pelvic pain story, how can I expect my clients to share their stories? It all starts with taking that first step. For me, publishing this story is a “first step” in building awareness and advocating for better solutions to pelvic pain. If you're a best friend of somebody who's brought up this subject, how comfortable do you really feel addressing it? Do you really want to go there with them? If you knew that there was someone who could help them with that, would you want to tell them that, and offer them the help that maybe you couldn't provide? I hope that this story has helped you feel a little more comfortable talking about this now. Perhaps this is a first step for you. Help me spread the word about this; there's still so much educating and encouraging to do. Help me pass on this message: Yes, there is help available. Yes, pelvic pain, pain with sex, is treatable! No, you're not too far-gone or broken to get better. And NO, you don't have to “just live with it”.  Each weekend I've been doing a Community Spotlight, featuring a special person or business that I want to highlight. Last week's Spotlight was in honor of a man, and now a legacy, Caesar Blevins. Caesar passed away earlier last week (April 7, 2021) after a long battle with prostate cancer.
I first met Caesar in November 2019. I had heard about a group called The Prostate Network which helped cancer survivors. I wanted to learn more about it, so I just randomly showed up one time. I didn't know what to expect, and I wasn't really sure how much I'd be welcome in this all-male group. What I experienced that evening just blew me away. I'd never seen anything like it. Here were men helping other men walk a very difficult journey. Each person there had a chance to talk, share, ask questions. The last person to speak was this guy named Caesar. He talked for quite awhile. (It was obvious that he was quite a talker!) As I listened, I heard his story unfold, and saw how he used that story to give counsel, support, and comfort to guys who were grappling with the reality of cancer in their lives. I decided to join in the cause to help prostate cancer survivors in my own unique way. I didn’t know Caesar for long and I didn’t get to spend much time with him. But I’ll tell you this--he was one special guy. I considered him a friend, a mentor, and a brother in Christ. And he sure left a legacy. A legacy of advocating and fighting for more funding for research, better access to screenings, and narrowing the gap of racial disparity in prostate cancer care for black men. He was a positive influence in his neighborhood, within the prostate cancer community in Kansas City and beyond, and among the legislators in Washington D.C. He left a legacy of unwavering faith and trust in God. I think that God gifted that man with a double portion of encouragement and optimism! Not the fake kind, or just a positive-thinking attitude. This was truly the essence of his being. One way he expressed that was in his Facebook posts. He would post something every day. Every. Day. Whether he was at work, at the gym, or in a hospital bed. As long as he was able, he would write words of encouragement to others. During the uncertain times of COVID and the terrible racial unrest that shook our country, I would always look forward to reading Caesar's posts. They were hopeful and yet thought-provoking. He could get his point across without using words of anger, judgement, or bitterness. And I think his message had more impact that way. He left a legacy of gentleness with strength. Or strength with gentleness. I never heard him yell at someone or insult them publicly. When a new guy came to the Prostate Network meetings, Caesar would ask them to tell their story. No matter how long it took. He provided a safe place for them to talk, ask questions, process stuff. He also had a gift for discernment. If someone would raise objections that were a smokescreen, give excuses, or just complain for the sake of complaining, he would call them out! Caesar was not one to tolerate any bullshit! He also left the legacy of "Warrior On". And warrior on he did, until his last breath. What comes to mind when you think of someone with Stage 4 cancer? Caesar was Stage 4 for nearly 10 years I think. 10 years--I can’t even imagine! I've learned about the physical effects of cancer in the body, but I didn't hear about its day-to-day impact on someone's life. Caesar's story gave me a greater level of understanding about this disease, and how terrible it can be. It's not "the good kind of cancer", it's not always slow-growing, it can totally ravish one's body. THAT is the reality of prostate cancer for many men. Those ugly facts sometimes get glossed over. Yet Caesar never let that reality destroy his spirit. He always had an encouraging word, was always lifting others up, and kept his mind and his body as active as he could. And that is a big reason why I'm doing this. Why I've joined the fight to get these guys the rehab that they deserve but are not getting after their surgery, radiation or chemo treatments. Caesar Blevins touched so many lives as a result of his prostate cancer. There’s a whole community here in Kansas City, and throughout the nation, who will continue his legacy. Doing all they can--all WE can--to stamp out prostate cancer, and to walk alongside those men who now live with this disease. Caesar wanted to make sure that no man walked this journey alone! Let's keep his legacy going. This is dedicated to you, Big C. How incredibly and terribly ironic, the timing of this. I've taken several months of "sabbatical" from writing to focus on other areas, but now it's time to get back in the saddle. I'm ready, and I have a new purpose for this.
The last article I wrote was guest-authored by the founders of the Prostate Network. At the time it was Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. Little did I know that just 6 months later, one of them would no longer be with us. Caesar Blevins passed away on April 7, 2021. I was fortunate to have one last (very socially-distanced) visit with him just 2 days before he died. Caesar's death affected a lot of people. He would want us to carry on his legacy. A week ago it became very clear to me what my role was in that. It rekindled a spark that had been lying dormant for over a year. I like to write, and I have something very important to write about. And I'm inviting you to join me on its journey to completion. I'm dedicating this project to Caesar Blevins and the work he did for prostate cancer survivors. The first part of this started as a Facebook post the week that Caesar passed away. I have more to say, and I'll use this blog to continue the story. Follow along with me as the story unfolds.... Did you know that today is the start of Prostate Cancer Awareness Month? I've got two special guest authors for this blog post: Steve Hentzen and Caesar Blevins, co-founders of The Prostate Network. Both are prostate cancer survivors. Here's what they want to tell you: September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. We here at The Prostate Network wanted to share with you some facts about the state of prostate cancer in the U.S. and some tips from survivors who have walked and are walking this journey today. The Facts In the U.S today:
In Kansas
Racial Disparities
The good news about these sobering statistics? Nearly 100% of these men will be alive in 5 years if the disease is caught in the early stages. What Can Men Do?
Tips From Survivors Advice from our co-founder Caesar Blevins: “We must start being more proactive than reactive in our quest for better health! We must educate our African American men about prostate cancer! This means that we first must process our health situation before we can progress! We have to evaluate and this comes from educating our men.” We asked a room of prostate cancer survivors what they would say if they had the podium and the room was full of men from all lines of work, all ages and all states of health. Here is what they wanted every man to know…
If you would like to learn more check out our website www.prostatenetwork.org and podcast series Prostate Cancer: Surviving Together. (image used with expressed consent of Prostate Network.org)  Each of my clients has a special story. Here is one of them.
This is a must-read if you or someone you know has battled cancer, has surgical scars, wants to return to their active lifestyle but doesn't know how, or feels let down by the medical community. Or just needs a dose of hope right now! This is from an interview I did with one of my clients, who is now our most recent "graduate" from physical therapy: Laura McKaig: Thank you for joining our Zoom meeting this morning and for sharing your story of your rehab journey. Please tell us a little bit about yourself. Client Joseph* All right, thanks for having me; I appreciate being here. As Laura said, I have seen her since last July, and just by way of background and so that she's relieved of any obligations around HIPAA or other compliance issues: I'm a 40 year old father of four and was diagnosed with stage three rectal cancer in early 2018. I went through the rest of that year going through treatment. Cancer was fairly advanced so I had major surgeries that took out the last 15 inches of my digestive tract, I'm a permanent ostomate now. Through all of that, it was pretty evident to me that as I now had about 60 linear inches of scar, I needed to get some help with relearning how to do some basic things, and certainly having guidance as I wanted to go back to being a very active person. I ran half marathons and a couple of full ones and have, as I said, a lot of kids who I want to chase around and roughhouse with. I want to spend the next 40 or 50 years being as normal as I was before I was diagnosed. So that's kind of the background. Laura McKaig Why did you reach out for physical therapy, especially pelvic floor physical therapy? Client Joseph Yeah, so I was at one of the top cancer centers in the country. And while they're fantastic in lots of areas of care, the post-op physical therapy is definitely a weakness for them. And the more that I talk to people, it's just generally a problem in oncology. So, as I thought about doing things like rebuilding my core strength and running long distances and stuff like that, it became obvious to me pretty quickly that I needed help getting there. I had asked several times to be prescribed physical therapy and was not [referred to anyone]. Then a friend of a friend dropped me Laura's business card. I said, well I'll give her a call. I did not know that there was physical therapy that specializes in pelvic floor area, and I certainly as a guy don't really think of that, to be honest. You know, when my wife gave birth that might be something that I've thought about, but for me, specifically, even though it definitely has an impact, it's not something that I had on my radar screen at all or was even aware of. Laura McKaig So you initiated the call and came in for a 30 minute consultation, I tell folks that I do offer a free 30 minute consultation, just to give people an idea of who I am, what the treatment space is like, are we a good fit, is your problem something that I can help you with. And so that's how we started working together. So my next question is: What would your life be like now if you didn't get any of this physical therapy? Client Joseph There's a lot of things I found out through the physical therapy that I know that were probably long standing issues around flexibility and proper breathing and things like that. I haven't gotten back to running; I was planning on doing the Garmin events, before that got cancelled with all this quarantine stuff. So that would have been much much worse and I think just a general lack of confidence to be able to do everything from rough house to work in the yard to doing something a little more physically strenuous like the running. Just would have been far worse. But there have been a lot of unexpected side benefits. I gave the example of breathing; when I go on runs now, I am MUCH more efficient. I can tell you just ramping up to longer distances was much, much easier because I was breathing properly. And that's something that Laura got me squared away on that I really probably was not doing right since--who knows when! Laura McKaig Any other outcomes or results that you did not expect? When you came in, you had certain goals and expectations. Were there any benefits that you gained that were a pleasant surprise? Client Joseph Yes, some of the other issues I found were scar maintenance in my case, because that's a big deal, as I said, with as much cutting as they had done. It was a very positive thing. People talk about the impact of scars; it was always one of those things -- you can't see it, you don't really know; yeah, you feel a little bit different or something pinches or what have you. But until you actually start working on them and knocking some of that tissue loose and getting a little bit more flexibility, it always seems like kind of a "squishy" topic to me honestly. So, I was fairly dismissive of it before. I was told, you had to pay attention to this and spend some time on it and once I did, there were plenty of benefits around that so I feel a lot more comfortable. The other day, my nine-year-old crashed into what had been a sensitive spot. And it caused me no anxiety or physical pain, which is something pretty representative of one of the benefits of working with Laura. Laura McKaig One thing I tell people, because I see a lot of people with scar issues, is that it takes at least two years for a scar to fully mature. But even if it's been two years or 10 years post-surgery, it is important and it's never too late to start. Laura McKaig Anything else you feel that others should know about? Client Joseph You all know how powerful word of mouth is, and especially when it's a more specialized type of service like what Laura provides, in particular a pelvic floor focus. I don't know what the general knowledge is about that, but when I think about her potential client base it's one of those things that she's got to really work hard on awareness and things of that nature. So from that perspective, I was very fortunate and blessed that I even got connected with her in the first place. I'm not getting a lot of help from within the medical community in my estimation. That's something that I think is good to know. And then I will speak to my fellow males that are on this call. You know, pelvic floor is kind of a weird area for anybody to be dealing with, but for whatever reason, in my mind, and probably because of childbirth and just, you know, call it chauvinism if you want, I always assumed that it was more to do with my wife and making sure that she was healthy, and I hear a lot more about women's pelvic floor issues anyway. It was a big deal for me because of cancer, hopefully none of you have that, or don't have to go through it. I surely wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But it's one of those things that there's a lot of other issues that we encounter as guys. In the future if it wasn't cancer, it was probably gonna be my prostate at some point or something else along the line, and I just really didn't think about this at all. And this type of service and I think I got a lot of side benefits out of it. It's physical therapy, it's not invasive. It's a matter of just getting your strength up and doing things the right way. I'll compliment Laura on her professionalism and ability to deal with a sensitive physical area in a very discreet and proper manner. She's got all kinds of tips and tricks and things like that that's just part of her natural approach that I've never considered, and it's like -- someone's gonna be working on my pelvic floor. They gotta be thinking about this, this, this, and this, and she had thought about all that stuff and more. I was never in a situation, obviously, even though it's a very intimate area, let's say, I was concerned about that initially, but she was still able to do what she needed to do without me worrying about flashing her or things like that. Laura McKaig And I just want to commend Joseph for his confidence in me. I've never run across a case like his. But, like I told him, "you know, I've never seen this before, but I think I can help you and if it's okay with you, let's figure this out together". And he was up for the challenge, I was up for the challenge. I hope I never have to see anyone who's had what you've had, because maybe somebody already sent them to physical therapy. So it's been a pleasure working with you, and we're still working together a bit. You’re doing great. I look forward to watching you in your next half marathon! Thank you for sharing your story with us. *name changed to protect client's privacy. Story shared with client's expressed permission. “I want to run a half marathon again.”
That’s what my new client, Justin*, wrote down as one of his physical therapy goals. Justin was seeking a pelvic physical therapist who worked with men as well as with medically-complicated patients. He was referred to me by a friend of his. Justin’s Story 2 years ago, Justin was diagnosed with cancer. He underwent chemo, radiation, and then extensive abdominal and pelvic reconstructive surgery. He was given clearance by his surgeon to “resume normal activities”, with no referral to physical therapy for rehabilitation. “You’ll be fine,” they said. He knew that he was NOT fine. He knew that there was a solution and he sought it out on his own. After his first PT visit, we both knew that there was a lot of work to do! But there was now hope that he could get back to doing the thing he loved—running. That was about 6 months ago. This past weekend, he ran his first 10K since his cancer diagnosis! I went to support him and cheer him on. This race was held underground, in a cave. Yep, a cave. As a spectator, I was in for quite an adventure, and I was about to encounter Story #2: Tim’s Story Not being a runner, I am pretty naïve about how these races work. I had to park a LONG way from the race site, and I was hurrying to find the cave entrance. I saw a guy dressed in runner’s gear, so I said to him, “You look like you know where you’re going; mind if I follow you?” He laughed and said, “Sure, but I don’t know where I’m going either.” He introduced himself, his name was Tim. We walked together to find the entrance. On the way there, he looked down, stopped and said, “Well, would you look at that!” He picked up a blue silicone bracelet that was lying on the ground in front of him. “This is my son’s bracelet,” he remarked. What he said next blew me away: “My son died 3 years ago, from suicide. This bracelet is from our support group and is in memory of him.” Tom said that he competes in these races to honor his son’s memory. “This is a sign” he said, “I KNOW I was supposed to be here! Laura, I want you to have this bracelet.” WOW. I was honored to take it, and I put it on my wrist. We went our separate ways. I found the race, and got to watch Justin compete and cross the finish line! “I’m one step closer to my goal”, he said. As we were walking toward the exit, amidst hundreds of people, guess who I saw—Tim! Do you believe in “Divine moments”? I do. I think this was one of them. I showed the blue bracelet to Justin, and they introduced themselves to each other. They shared their personal stories. Both have been through traumatic things. Both have found running as a way to cope with hardship and to refresh their mind, body, and spirit. I think we all got a little emotional at that moment. I know I certainly did! Why is this so special to me? There’s a third story involved here: My story. July 2014: I was walking the indoor track at my gym, in tears. My application to re-take the PT board exam in June had been rejected. I now had to wait until October. I remember saying out loud, “Why these roadblocks? I just want to help people!” One year later: A dream opportunity falls apart in a most unpleasant way. I’m left to pick up the pieces, with no back-up, no other job offers and a ton of uncertainty. Am I doing the right thing? Why all these roadblocks (again)? 2 months after that: I end up in a geriatrics outpatient clinic, and discover that I LOVE working with the 65+ “active agers” population! What if… I combine pelvic floor PT with this work? I get an amazing opportunity to do just that, and I gain a LOT more experience working with medically-complicated patients. Allowing me to help people like Justin with some very unique rehab needs. Do you see the beautiful way that these stories intertwine? You never know how your story will impact someone else and be an encouragement and a hope for them. So, in closing, I encourage you to share YOUR story with others. Share these stories with others who might be going through similar challenges. Justin is preparing for his next step—competing in a half marathon. I hope that his story will encourage others who are cancer survivors or who have been told that they “just have to live with” their post-surgical problems. There IS hope for more complete recovery, and for getting back to doing the things they love to do. Like running. And thriving, not just surviving, in life. *names changed for client confidentiality. Client gave permission to share his story. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up early this morning thinking about what I’m grateful for. And my thoughts surprised me. I’m thankful for the Pain. YES, the PAIN. That sounds like a weird thing to be grateful for, doesn’t it? I wasn’t thankful for it at first. But what happened as a result may not have happened without the pain! So, I’m grateful for the physical PAIN I had 6 years ago. The nagging pain in my left hip and knees that didn’t get better on its own. The pain that pushed me to invest in my health and join a gym, which re-started my career in physical therapy. I’m grateful for the financial PAIN I had at that time; without it I would not have been looking for a career change. I’m now grateful for the PAIN of disappointment when plans that I had for my career re-start didn’t work out like I had hoped. Without that pain, I would have never started my own practice or become an entrepreneur. How about the PAIN of broken relationships? I really struggle with this. Nobody wants strained friendships, business relationships gone wrong, or trust betrayed. It’s hard to be thankful for any of that. However, I recall what my business coach and mentor once said, “Everything that happens to me, good or bad, God uses as an opportunity to bless someone else.” So I trust in that truth. Sometimes it means asking forgiveness of the other person, or to forgive myself. Sometimes it forces me to look inward and see things I need to change so that I can be a better person. Sometimes it is realizing that the relationship needed to end and it’s okay to move on. I’m thankful for that ruthless trust. I’m thankful that God can use me, even when I mess up, to bless others. I’m also thankful for those who told me I could NOT / should NOT do this because… --I’m too old to get back in the game (Wrong! I’m the perfect age for this) --It’s too risky, better play it safe (The safest place is in the middle of God’s will – I’m there!) --I’m not good enough (Tell that to my clients whose lives have been changed by this!) So…thanks for the comments that it couldn’t be done because (blah, blah…). They just spurred me on to want this even more! To work harder, risk bigger, pray more, and ask for help when needed. It’s not easy for me to ask for help. But I know that I can’t do this alone. I am SO grateful for the many people that God placed in my life to help me get to where I am now. Some I’ve known for years, others just for a short season. It was no accident that the knowledge, skills and support they offered was exactly what I needed at just the right time. If you are one of those people, THANK YOU! It may sound crazy, but I’m finding joy in the pain and disappointments. I’ve been given an incredible and unique opportunity to help people. And they are so grateful to be able to regain their dignity, relieve their pain, and solve their embarrassing problems “down there”. How about you? What difficult or painful things are you now thankful for? I’d love to hear about it! |
We help active men and women get control over leakage, pain, or other problems “down there”, even if other treatments haven't worked. Even if they've been told nothing can be done. Even if it seems hopeless.
Laura McKaig PTSpecialist Physical Therapist CategoriesArchives
November 2021
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